Lin vs The Computer
by Hodgeheg
Summary: Dodgy internet connections, viruses, and exploding printers... no wonder Lin spends so much of his time typing! LinxMadoka
1. Round 1 The Internet

Lin glared at the small icon on the bottom of the screen. His computer was proudly displaying the fact that he was unable to connect to the internet. He clicked on this small button, and selected the connection he wanted. He waited for a few moments before a pop up appeared on the screen. Again, it proudly announced that there was no connectivity. Lin tried again. And again. The same window appeared each time. Lin shut down his computer, and then rebooted it. Nothing changed. He walked out of his office, knocked on Naru's door, and then entered.  
>"The internet's not working."<br>"…" Lin sighed. Really, Naru was probably the reason why he didn't talk much. After years of knowing the boy, they still resorted to looks and silences to communicate their feelings.  
>"Why are you still here?"<br>"What are you going to do about it?"  
>"Why should it concern me? You're the one with the problem. Sort it out yourself. No doubt when Mai arrives one of her fan club will be able to help you, if you're incapable of doing it yourself." Lin bit back his retort -he wouldn't win a war of words and insults with Naru- but he did shut the door a little harder than necessary. He re-entered his office, glaring at his computer screen. A movement in the corner of his screen caught his eye, and to his delight he realised that it had connected to the internet during his very brief absence. Lin quickly clicked on the internet, and typed in the web address into the search bar. He waited a few minutes for it to load, idly flicking through some of his notes. Glancing at the screen, he saw that it was 'unable to connect to the internet due to connectivity problems'. Grinding his teeth together, he saw that it had unconnected itself from the computer. Again. He clicked on the icon that would restore the internet connectivity, and waited another few minutes, all the while cursing the fact that he had turned off his computer for his brief lunch break. The internet had been working fine before hand- it was only now that it was acting up. He heard the office door open and close, but he ignored it, especially as he heard the usual sound of the kettle boiling. Once again, the computer announced that it had managed to connect to the internet. Lin raised an eyebrow<p> 


	2. Round 2 Printers

It had been several weeks since the internet incident, and although he had been the subject of Yasuhara's mirth for the first few days afterwards, everything had soon settled down. There had been no more incidents with the internet; indeed, there had been no more incidents involving the computer at all. Lin had regained trust in his technological friend, whilst Mai had recovered from witnessing an incredibly flustered Lin.

The sun outside was shining, birds were singing, the kettle was whistling (again) and Lin was happily tip-tapping away at his keyboard.

The door opened, and unfamiliar voices resonated throughout the office. Lin paid no attention to them until there was a knock at the door.

"Come in, Taniyama-san." Mai was the only one who ever knocked; Naru never came in, preferring to just email him his requests and Madoka just barged straight in.

"Um, Lin-san, a client has just come in." Lin nodded, and quickly clicked 'print' on the document he was working on before scooping up his laptop and taking it into the main room.

He settled himself down opposite the sniffling woman on the sofa, and mentally sighed. Naru sat down stiffly in the armchair, and Lin smirked imperceptibly. He could tell that Naru was already wearing thin in his patience.

"Fuyima-san, could you tell us what the activity you experienced is and when it started?"

The woman, hiccupping slightly, lowered the handkerchief from her face and started to speak. Lin started typing, trying to refrain from rolling his eyes. If Naru was going to accept – and Lin could tell from the tiny change in his posture that he was definitely interested - then it was going to be a long case.

After about half an hour, Lin was finally able to recede back to his office. Settling back down in his seat, he glanced across to the printer sitting on top of a low cupboard in the corner of the room. There was nothing in the tray.

Lin sighed, walked over, inserted fresh paper, and went back to his desk. He loaded up the file quickly, and pressed print again. Nothing happened, apart from a rather helpful bubble appearing at the corner of his screen, informing him that that what he had sent to the printer had failed to print, and could he check the toner. Whatever that was.

Lin growled. Technology seemed to really be against him. He quickly pulled up the internet, which was mercifully open, and after some quick research he discovered that it was a type of printer cartridge.

Frowning in irritation, he went back over to the printer and lifted the lid. There were four cartridges in there. He slowly let the lid back down before exiting into the main office. Mai looked up from her work on her desk and frowned.

"Lin-san? What's happening?"

Lin was silent.

"Is it the internet again?" She asked, genuine concern lacing her voice.

"No. Printer."

"Ah."

"Which one's the toner?"

"Umm… I think I know. Why, has it run out?"

"Yes. No. Not really sure."

"Well, why don't you take it out and see if it does need replacing? There's a printer shop around the corner."

"How can I take it out if I don't know which one it is?"

"Hmmm… let me th- Oh! It tells you which one it is on the cartridge." Lin yet again felt very old. And a little slow.

"Oh. Thank you Taniyama-san."

"No problem!" She replied, but he had already gone. He stood in front of the printer, and gingerly lifted up the lid. He read the top of the four cartridges, and soon found the toner cartridge. He moved his hands forward to take it out, when there was a sudden burst and a jet of black ink squirted out and stained Lin's clean white shirt.

Letting out a snort of frustration, he opened up a different cupboard near his desk, and pulled out a clean shirt from the spares that were in there in case one got ruined whilst either saving Mai, saving Naru who was saving Mai, or battling a ghost. Or all three.

After changing swiftly and hiding the blackened shirt in his briefcase, he then proceeded to take out the toner cartridge with all the care of a surgeon. Once it was out, he placed the offending item into a plastic bag, before donning his coat. He left the office, and made his way silently down the stairs.

He walked down the street with an uncharacteristically determined look on his face, although it was hidden by his hair. When he reached the shop that Mai had mentioned, he stopped and looked at it before entering.

When he got inside, he waited a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the gloom. A teenager stood behind the counter with an expression of boredom on his face that disappeared quickly as he took in Lin. Lin slapped the cartridge on to the counter.

"I need a new one." The boy took it and examined it, before typing something quickly into the computer.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we are out of stock. Would you like us to reserve you one for Thursday?"

Lin frowned. That was the day after tomorrow. When they would be on the case.

"I am away then."

"You could pick it up on Friday."

"I will probably be away for the next week, and the deadline for the work I need to print is Saturday. Are you sure you are out of stock?"

"Yes, sir, I am afraid we are."

"Fine. Where is the next nearest printer shop?"

"About ten minutes on the train. I can give you directions." Lin nodded, and picked up the cartridge that was on the counter whilst the boy hastily scribbled on to a piece of paper.

When that was done, Lin scooped up the scrap piece of paper, before exiting the darkened shop. He strode through the crowds to the train station, and ten minutes later he was standing outside another printer shop. He went up to the counter and placed the cartridge in front of the man standing there.

"I need a new toner cartridge."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we are out of stock. Would you like to place an order?"

"No. Tell me where the nearest printer shop is and I'll try there."

"Certainly sir. Well, there is a printer shop in the Shibuy-"

"I have just come from there."

"Oh, right. Hm. Could you please wait one minute?" he said, before typing into his computer. Lin drummed his fingers on the countertop impatiently.

"Well, sir, the nearest one is on the other side of Tokyo, I'm afraid."

Lin ground his teeth.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to place an order?"

"No. I am away for the next week, and I need it today."

"Well, I'm sorry. Would you like me to give you the directions to the other store?"

"No." Lin walked out, taking the cartridge with him. He rode back to the office on the train. When he got in, Mai looked up.

"Lin-san! Did you get one?"

"No. They were out of stock."

"Oh."

Lin went into his office, shrugging out of his coat on the way. He was in a bad mood; that entire excursion had been a complete waste of time. He eyed the printer with annoyance, and sat down in his chair, thinking. He smiled, went on to the internet, and pulled up his email account. He then proceeded to send the document to himself.

When Lin got home that night, he pulled out his laptop and brought up his internet. He clicked on the email containing the document that he had sent himself earlier, and proceeded to print it. He got up to dump his plate in the sink, and when he got back he checked the printer tray. It was empty.

He went over to his laptop to print it again, when he noticed something. A small, helpful bubble had appeared on the corner of the screen, informing him that the document had failed to print and could he check the toner.

Lin: 0 Computer: 2

**I had no idea what a toner cartridge was until I sat down to write this chapter. Seriously. Nor did I know that there were so many cartridges! 4 are loads! You would think that we would invent a printer that only needs on cartridge… anyway, luckily I was writing this in the presence of the ICT teacher at school! So thank you to her, as she dealt with my (very) random questions. Especially since I don't even do ICT anymore…**

**Anyway. My offer of your computer issues still stands… and maybe it will help solve them… or not! So far the computer is winning. Actually, it was going to be Lin who won this round, but I changed my mind. **

**Please review!**


	3. Round 3 Decoding

Lin stared at his laptop without really seeing anything. He was on a case, and therefore there was no internet or printers to annoy him.

He was savouring the moment, safe in the knowledge that those things wouldn't be bugging him for at least two days. Probably longer, given the fact that the ghost had violent tendencies.

So far Mai had already had to be saved, and the family that lived in the house had been ushered out and into a nearby hotel. Luckily, Madoka had been the one to break the news and tell them that it was too dangerous for them to stay in their home, and that it was best if they stayed elsewhere. They had hastily agreed, and now the SPR team was alone in the haunted house.

Lin pulled himself out of his musings, and looked at his laptop. It was late, around 1:30 in the morning, and even Naru had fallen asleep, albeit in the chair that he was sitting in.

Lin clicked on a document, and waited for it to load. He stretched, and then got up to make some coffee. He preferred coffee to tea; maybe it was his heritage speaking. After all, there was a chain of coffee shops in China called 'SPR Coffee'. It seemed fitting that he should therefore drink coffee whilst with SPR. When he got back, it was still loading.

An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. It seemed too familiar… too similar to what had happened with the printer and the internet. When they had begun to break down, there was always a long wait. Plus, he was uploading the document from his memory stick. In Lin's head, a list of possible problems wound its way around his brain. Lin shook it off.

There was a distant scream, and Naru's eyes immediately flew open. Lin hardly noticed as he raced off; it was probably Mai again. Don't get him wrong, he felt worried about her and everything, but as it happened so often, he had been desensitised a little. Naru still ran off to help though.

He turned his attention back to the screen, and felt two emotions at once. Emotion number one: Happiness, as the document had FINALLY loaded. Emotion number two: Frustration, as the document was all encrypted. And there was no way in hell he was going to be able to decode it. He growled, downed the rest of his drink and prepared to decipher the document. It was going to be a long night.

A few hours later, Lin was about a quarter of the way through the document. Naru had returned from dealing with Mai, and was reading his file, after getting himself a cup of tea. Lin was so tired that the symbols seemed to be coming up off the screen and swimming before him. Lin rubbed his eyes in an attempt to keep them open, and yawned.

"Lin, go to bed," ordered Naru. Lin ignored him and carried on translating. His mind was numbing over and he couldn't think properly. After a while, Naru stood up and walked towards the door.

"I'm going to bed," he said. Lin grunted and Naru left.

Lin carried on, occasionally letting out a frustrated sigh. As dawn approached, Lin reached the halfway point. As the morning light flooded the base fully, Naru re-entered and continued with what he was working on before he had gone to bed. Not long afterwards, Madoka came in.

"Lin! You look exhausted! What time did you go to bed?" Lin didn't answer her.

"Lin, answer me," Madoka said in a stern tone.

"I didn't."

"And why not?"

"I was working."

Naru sidled out to get himself a cup of tea.

"Lin, if it's that damn computer again, I'll… I'll… think of something really bad." Lin grunted to indicate that he had heard her. Unperturbed by his silence, Madoka sat down in the seat next to him that Naru had just vacated.

"Lin, if you don't get more sleep, you're going to turn into Naru. And make yourself ill. And really, none of us wants that. Now, I reckon that you have about two hours before Mai wakes up, meaning that you have two hours of sleep since Noll seems to think that as soon as Mai is awake everyone has to be awake. Off you go." She pointed at the door and Lin - too tired to resist anymore - stalked out of the room and into the dark bedroom.

*.*

Lin slipped into base unnoticed by anyone else. He silently sat down in front of his laptop again and switched it on, uploading the document. Mercifully, it was still half decoded - a small part of Lin's mind was worried that it would have all disappeared. Knowing his luck, that was bound to happen. He flexed his fingers a little and got to work, occasionally taking a sip of the tea that Mai had brought him.

He barely noticed the comings and goings of the others, his mind solely focused on the task at hand. He worked solidly at his computer for most of the day, not even leaving it for dinner; Madoka placed a sandwich on the desk next to his hand. As it grew dark, Lin neared completion.

Soon the room emptied and once again and he and Naru were the only ones left. Lin looked in satisfaction at the document that had (successfully) been returned to Japanese. He leant back, before turning the laptop towards Naru.

"This is the information that the client managed to find for us." Naru looked over, scrutinized the screen for a few minutes before returning back to his file.

"I already know all of that. Yasuhara-san and Madoka already collected that information for me today." Lin's eyes narrowed. A wave of anger washed over him and he tried to subdue it.

"Fine. I am going to bed." With that Lin saved his work and left base. As he walked down the corridor he swore he heard a chuckle and one of his shiki squirmed.

"Beat it," he muttered into thin air as he entered his room. The temperature rose slightly, and his shiki returned to normal. Lin sighed as he lay on his bed. Next time, he promised himself, Naru could do the decoding.

**Gosh, Lin sleeps? I had convinced myself that he was a robot. After all, he's known *ahem*suffered*ahem* Naru for how long now? Surely that has to require a superhuman trait? But no, he does sleep. And yes, China really does have a chain of coffee shops called SPR Coffee. I saw it in an episode of Top Gear. When the clip came on, I had to control my giggles. Luckily, my brother and Mum thought that the next bit was funny, so I didn't look too weird… hopefully!  
>Please review!<strong>

**Hodgeheg**


	4. Round 4 Broadband

**This chapter is dedicated to Coriana. Happy Birthday! **

It was a dark, overcast day. Rain was beating a steady rhythm on the pavements and inhabitants of Tokyo. A tall figure, clutching something to his chest and wearing a long coat, shuffled towards a café, and headed for the stairs just in front. He went up them, and entered the small office at the top.

Lin hung up his sopping coat on to one of the pegs. Naru's was already there; if they hadn't left the building at the same time yesterday, then Lin would've sworn that Naru slept in the office. Lin was glad that he didn't, as then it would mean that he either faced Madoka's wrath, or faced Naru's. Lin could honestly say he did not know which one was scarier. But still, Naru should not be coming in to the office this early. Lin was earlier than usual, but Naru's being here at this time was normal. Lin sighed; he was so looking forward to that little 'chat'.

He crossed the distance that led to the door to his hidey hole, as Madoka called it, and went in. He quickly booted up his laptop and left to get himself a cup of tea whilst it connected to the internet. It had been slightly slower than normal ever since the previous internet incident, but as long as it worked Lin didn't mind. He got back to the office and loaded up the internet. It made him wait for a while, and Lin took this as an opportunity to drink his tea. When he looked at the screen, he groaned. It proudly announced that it could not connect to the broadband. He looked to see if it provided any instructions on what he could do to fix it. It did provide them; it said to 'click here if your broadband has just been installed', or to 'click here if you have had your hub for more than 24 hours'. Lin clicked on the latter one, hoping for further enlightenment. He was in luck. There were further instructions.

'Please press restart on your hub, and wait for the light to turn a steady blue.' There was even an option for if that didn't work, and Lin hoped that he wouldn't have to find out what those instructions were. He left his office to enter Naru's lair. Completely ignoring each other, Lin walked quickly to the small black contraption sitting conspicuously on one of the shelves, surrounded books. He lifted it up carefully so that he did not disturb the trail of wires coming from the back and pressed the restart button. He then replaced it and went back to his office, hoping that by the time he got back the problem would be resolved. Oh, how naïve he felt half an hour later, when he was almost banging his head on his desk in frustration and the internet still denied him access. He returned to Naru's office and checked the hub again. The broadband was still flashing orange. He pressed the restart button again, and stared at it. All the lights apart from the broadband light turned blue. The broadband light started flashing orange. He pressed it again. And again. Naru, irritated by the constant clicking of the button being pressed and the following exasperated huff looked up from his book.

"Lin, if it's annoying you that much then just fix it. Take it with you and stop annoying me." With that he returned to his reading. Lin stooped so that he could get to the sockets that the hub was connected to and unplugged it. He scooped the whole lot up into his arms and went back into his own office. He sipped at his tea, only to scowl as he realised that it was stone cold before scanning the room for the required phone points. Eventually he found a suitable place, and plugged in the hub. His eyes were trained on it, watching it like a hawk, as one by one the buttons flashed orange then turned a steady blue. He held his breath as the final one, the broadband one, flashed. And flashed. And flashed. It did not turn blue. His door opened, and Madoka leaned against the door frame, her arms crossed.

"Having trouble again?"

"I hate computers."

"Come on. Bring a memory stick; we'll go to the library. I need to do some research there anyway. After that, you can take me to lunch." Lin went through several escape options, but nothing suitable came to mind and in the end Madoka had grabbed hold of his upper arm and forcibly dragged him out of the office. Lin just managed to grab his coat from the hook before he was being towed down the stairs and out into the rainy streets of Tokyo.

"So… tell me how Naru-kun is," said Madoka conversationally.

"Madoka, you've been here for several weeks. You know perfectly well how 'Naru-kun' is."

"Damn, you got me. I was just wondering how he is from your prospective. I return to England in two days' time, and I need to have sufficient info on Naru for Luella, otherwise she'll get on the first plane over here and we all know how happy _that _would make Noll."

"So you care about his state of mental happiness?"

"I care about the lives of the other members of SPR. Basically, I don't think that you or Mai-chan will survive a visit from his parents. Noll will either kill the two of you, or you'll die of laughter from Noll's awkwardness."

"… Fair enough." Lin fell silent as they reached the library, and for the next hour he was able to get _some _of his work done. He sighed happily as he took out his memory stick and rose to leave. Madoka got up as well, and Lin stiffened as she slipped an arm through his.

"Come on. There's such a sweet little café down that street that I'm sure you'll love." Lin highly doubted that he would love any 'sweet little café' that Madoka had found, but experience taught him not to say anything.

When they returned to the office, Naru had not moved from his office at all. Lin sighed and went in to his lair, leaving Madoka to settle happily on one of the sofas in the meeting room, writing some notes in a notebook. Lin sat down and unlocked his computer, just in time to see the internet disconnect itself. Lin smacked his head on the desk. Man, he hated computers… Lin:0.5 (for the decoding) Computer:3.5

**Hehehe… hello. No, I haven't given up writing or been abducted by aliens. In my infinite capability to irritate and annoy myself, I decided to give up posting/writing for Lent. I'm sorry. And I also realise that Lent ended nearly a month ago. Again, I'm sorry. But hey, I have lots of ideas for various little stories, and my friend and I have been writing a collaboration together. It's called Communication 101, and it's posted on Mini-Mai's account, so look out for it! (No, I **_**totally **_**wasn't advertising just then! ;D) Also, not only have I had new ideas for stories, I have new ideas for chapters, so writing should pick up again soon. **

**Please review!**


	5. Round 5 Updates

Lin was happily tip-tapping away at his keyboard. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the printer's toner cartridge was full, the internet connected every time (after a while) and although occasionally a little slow, there had been no major incidents with the connection.

To put it simply, Lin was perfectly happy. In fact, he was normally happy given a laptop with internet access and a word document. He carried on typing, writing up some of the case notes from their last case for Noll. That case to had been perfect; not too boring to irritate Noll, but not too dangerous to force anyone ahem Mai ahem to be saved. There had also been no documents to spend all day decoding, only to find Noll already had the information. Yep, it had been a success.

Lin finished his work and clicked the small little 'x' on a small bubble that had appeared, saying that there were some updates that needed to be put on the computer, and did he want to install them now. The answer was no, but oh how he regretted later…

Lin opened up his laptop, re-booted it up again after having locked it, and waited patiently for the five minutes or so it took to connect to the internet. He then pulled said internet up, and entered his email account. He hadn't emailed Luella in a few weeks, and he was sure there was one from Madoka and another from Martin lurking in his inbox somewhere. He was halfway through typing out his email to Luella when his typing that was appearing on the screen froze and his computer proudly announced that it had some updates to install.

**This happened to me a few days ago and since then, my internet has gone all stupid. I blame the updates. Actually, most of what happens to Lin's computer happens to me, apart from the printer and having to translate something. Unfortunately, most of those things are internet related. My internet really hates me…  
>Anyway, back to the point. As most of them are internet related, I have a feeling that it'll get boring pretty quickly. So, I was wondering if any of you have non internet related problems that they are willing to give to me so I can give to Lin? I asked in the first chapter, but my offer still stands. Actually it's more of a plea; I really need them! Pretty please?<strong>

**Please review!**


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